Alright, gather 'round, everyone. You know that footlong-loving, discount code-spewing guy from Subway? Yeah, we're talking about Jared Fogle, the man who turned hoagies into a national empire before submarine sandwiches became the least appetizing thing about him.
The short answer to your burning question about how long Jared is actually in jail? He pulled a hefty 15 years and 8 months. That is a LOT of footlongs, my friend—about 5,700 days of watching the clock tick by, minus a few for good behavior.
How Did Coffee Boy Become an Inmate?
For those who blinked, here's the timeline: Jared lost weight eating Subway, became Subway's most famous spokesperson, and then committed heinous crimes involving children. Subway quickly deleted his existence from the internet, which is what happens when your brand ambassador becomes a headline nobody wants.
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Authorities arrested him in 2015 after a months-long FBI investigation uncovered child pornography charges on his computer. The surveillance actually began in 2012, which means for three years, some very determined investigators were quietly cross-referencing IP addresses while Jared kept saying "Eat fresh" on television. Awkward.
He pleaded guilty to two counts of distributing obscene material to minors and one count of traveling to engage in illicit sexual conduct with a minor. The court didn't offer leniency just because he could recommend a good Italian B.M.T.
Subway's Jared Fogle Sentenced To 15 Years In Jail - YouTube
Life Behind the Actual Bars (Not the Submarine Kind)
Jared reported to FCI Englewood in Littleton, Colorado, in November 2015. This facility houses severalfederal prisoners, which I imagine makes for some incredibly interesting prison yard conversations.
Behind bars, he reportedly enjoys eating cookies and playing card games, which—honestly—sounds like every grandpa's Tuesday afternoon but without the freedom to leave. You must wonder if he reminisces over a mustard-drizzled, five-dollar footlong while munching on cafeteria mystery meat.
Ex-Subway Pitchman Jared Fogle Gets More Than 15 Years In Prison | 10tv.com
Even prison food has standards, and Jared did earn a small reduction in his sentence for good behavior. Because apparently, even convicted individuals still get to use the "cafeteria worker got a word wrong" apology strategy—it just takes slightly longer.
When Do We Unlock the Door?
Jared's scheduled release date is March 28, 2029. That's still a ways off, so don't refresh his IMDb profile just yet—he won't be shooting any comeback commercials anytime soon.
20 Most Famous People in Prison Right Now | The Internet's largest
The courts rejected his initial appeal, arguing his sentence reflected the seriousness of his actions. One judge effectively said, "The eight-inch spike in public trust was earned, and taking it away is entirely fair, buddy." A public relations disaster of this magnitude—he just lost the entire empire.
Subway has quietly rebuilt its brand with new ambassadors and updated menu items, which goes to show that sandwich chains are more resilient than even he imagined. Jared's legacy now lives only in court documents, internet archives, and a handful of CFOs who audibly groan when someone asks, "Jared—Is that the guy, or do we not talk about him anymore?"
So yes, he will spend over fifteen years in a federal penitentiary for his crimes. That is more delicious time behind bars than any chain restaurant spokesperson could hope to sustain a career before finding fame in the most unwanted imaginable way.