So, you want to join a royal family? Not just any family—a Crown Family. Think tiaras, ancestral castles, and zero washing up. Sound impossible? It’s not. You just need a plan and a pinch of luck.
The Classic Route: Marry a Prince (or Princess)
This is the fairy tale method, but it’s high risk. You need to meet one first. Try places like polo matches, charity galas, or that one pub in St. Andrews. Just be warned: they will carefully vet your Instagram history. Delete that 2016 photo of you eating a kebab at 3 AM.
Once you’re dating, the real fun begins. You’ll have to learn the “Royal Wave.” It’s like a robot on a spring. Practice in the mirror. Fail, and the tabloids will call it “Stiff-Gate.”
Must Read
The Sneaky Route: Become a Useful Friend
Royals need loyal pals. Not just for gossip—for fetching umbrellas. If you can make them laugh about a corgi fart, you’re gold. Humor is your secret weapon. Also, be brilliant at something they aren’t. Fix a leaky tap? They’ll keep you forever.
Fun fact: Queen Elizabeth II once hired a footman because he had a perfectly straight back. Posture matters. So sit up straight when you apply for that “Assistant to the Assistant” job.
Can the royal family's crown to skip a generation? | wtsp.com
The Quirky Route: Buy a Peerage
Yep, in theory you can buy a title. Some micro-nations sell “Lord” or “Lady” for a few hundred bucks online. It’s like buying a fake diploma but legally. Your new “crown” comes via FedEx. Tell your friends you’re the Duke of Nowhere. They’ll be confused but impressed.
If you have serious cash, you can fund a wing at a museum. In return, you might get invited to a state dinner. Just don’t wear white. Or sneakers. Or a sneaker-shaped hat.
The Unexpected Perk: You Can (Sort of) Join by Accent
Ever heard “posh” moved from your mouth? Upper-crust British is a superpower. You don’t need a castle—just train your voice. Say “bath” like you’ve bitten a lemon. Say “grass” to rhyme with “farce.” It’s weird, but it opens doors. Literally.
The Crown Family Tree: Queen Elizabeth's Children, Grandchildren
One guy from Ohio faked it so well he got hired as a royal tour guide. He had zero skills. He just said “jolly good” a lot. Audacity wins.
The Reality Check (Because We’re Friends)
Even if you marry in, you won’t escape family drama. Crown families are like yours, but with more swords in the portrait gallery. You must eat tiny sandwiches at every event. And the shoes? Never. Sit. Down. Your feet will ache.
British Royal Family Tree
But here’s the truth: becoming part of a crown family is 10% fairy dust and 90% weird social rules. You must curtsy to a 12-year-old earl. You must call a spoon a “pudding utensil.” It’s bonkers. And that’s exactly why it’s fun to dream.
Your Three-Step Action Plan
First, Google “local baron” and see if one exists. Second, master the art of eating peas without stabbing them. Peas are the test. Third, be ready to pivot. If a prince doesn’t show, try a viscount. Or a very old cat with a crown collar. Close enough.
Royalty is mostly spectacle and silliness. But if you laugh at the game, you’re already halfway in. So polish your tiara, straighten your back, and go find your kingdom. Just don’t forget to return the library books first. Even monarchs have late fees.
