Liverpool Street Station is a glorious, hissing human volcano that erupts commuters twice a day. But here’s the secret: right under its nose lies a network of boozers so good, you’ll actually want to miss your train. Trust me, a missed connection here is a beautiful tragedy.

The Olde Guns: A Victorian Time Machine

First up is The Olde Guns, which looks like it was built by a drunk wizard with a grudge against modern architecture. It’s been there since 1671, making it older than the concept of “email.” The ceiling is low enough to make a giraffe cry, and the floor is dangerously uneven.

Here’s a wild fact: Dickens might have drunk here, but more importantly, you will drink a pint of stout that tastes like liquid velvet. Order the scotch egg—it’s the size of a small planet and will cure any existential dread you have about returning to the office.

The Hamilton Hall: Grandiose Chaos

If the Olde Guns is a cozy cave, The Hamilton Hall is a glittering, chaotic train station pub that lives inside a former ballroom. It’s so massive you could fit a small circus, and on Fridays, it basically is a circus with spreadsheets. The chandeliers sparkle while people scream about quarterly reports.

The beer here is fine, but the real sport is people-watching. You’ll see a banker cry into a Sauvignon Blanc while a tourist asks for directions to the real London. Please, just get the fish and chips—it comes in a basket, which automatically makes it 40% more fun.

The Astronomer Pub London - Pubs Near Liverpool Street StationThe Astronomer Pub London - Pubs Near Liverpool Street Station

The Magpie: Hipster Hideout

Venture off the main square to The Magpie, a tiny, wood-paneled gem that feels like a hobbit hole designed by a Brooklyn barista. It’s tiny. You will literally share a table with a stranger who becomes your best friend for 45 minutes. The beer list is as long as a receipt from a failed startup.

Here’s the surprise: they have a secret upstairs room that looks like your gran’s living room, complete with lace doilies. Order the “wine of the week” and pretend you understand the sommelier’s description. You’ll leave feeling both sophisticated and slightly confused—which is the perfect pub state.

Best Restaurants Around Liverpool Street London at Carlos Brookover blogBest Restaurants Around Liverpool Street London at Carlos Brookover blog

The Counting House: Banker’s Playground

Once a bank, The Counting House is now a pub where you can drink money—well, you spend money, but you get the gist. The ceilings are absurdly high, with amazing stained glass that shows bees and cornucopias. It’s basically a cathedral dedicated to lager.

This is the place for a Sunday roast that will put you into a carb-induced coma. One Yorkshire pudding here could be used as a flotation device. Also, fun fact: the old bank vaults are now the toilets, so you can literally “deposit” something while you’re there. Don’t make that joke to the bartender; they’ve heard it 800 times.

The Railway Tavern, a traditional pub near Liverpool Street StationThe Railway Tavern, a traditional pub near Liverpool Street Station

The Rake: Tiny Titan

Finally, The Rake is the smallest pub in Central London, and it’s the size of your average cupboard. It holds maybe six people standing up, and the rest spill onto the pavement like happy, drunk ants. Don’t go if you hate elbows touching elbows.

But oh, the beer—they have a rotating list of craft ales that change faster than Liverpool Street’s departure board. You will taste a sour beer that tastes like a funky, delicious mistake. The trick is to grab one, lean against the wall outside, and watch the human river flow by. That’s it. That’s the perfect Liverpool Street pub crawl.

So go forth, dodge a pigeon, buy a round, and miss that train on purpose. Your boss can wait. The Guns, the Hall, the Magpie, the Counting House, and the Rake are waiting. Cheers, you magnificent disaster.

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