Let’s talk about KISS. The band with the face paint, fire-breathing, and massive egos. How old are these guys, anyway?

The Demon: Gene Simmons

Gene Simmons was born on August 25, 1949. That makes him 75 years old. Yes, the guy who spits blood and sticks out his tongue is a senior citizen.

He loves money more than ever. “Rock and roll is dead,” he says, while counting his cash.

The Starchild: Paul Stanley

Paul Stanley was born on January 20, 1952. He’s 73 years old. He still wears a corset under his armor.

Paul is the band’s eternal optimist. He’ll tell you KISS will tour forever. (Spoiler: Their bodies say otherwise.)

The Spaceman: Tommy Thayer

Tommy Thayer joined KISS in 2002. He was born on November 7, 1960. That makes him 64 years old.

He plays Ace Frehley’s guitar solos note-for-note. He’s like a human jukebox in silver makeup.

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The Catman: Eric Singer

Eric Singer was born on May 12, 1958. He’s 66 years old. He’s been behind the drum kit since 1991.

Fun fact: He’s the youngest original member of this lineup. But he still wears a giant cat head on stage. Priorities.

What About the Original Members?

Ace Frehley (the original Spaceman) was born April 27, 1951. He’s 73 and still smokes on stage. Peter Criss (the original Catman) was born December 20, 1945. He’s 79—the oldest living member.

Peter left the band in 2001. Now he paints cats on velvet. Yes, really.

Here’s the Crazy Part

The combined age of the current touring lineup is 278 years. That’s older than the United States Constitution (which is 237).

Kiss Band Members (Names, Ages, Trivia) - Musical MumKiss Band Members (Names, Ages, Trivia) - Musical Mum

These guys have been rocking for over 50 years. They’ve sold 100 million albums. And they still jump off drum risers. Carefully.

Why Does Their Age Matter?

Because it’s hilarious. Imagine your grandpa wearing platform boots and spitting fire. KISS is that grandpa, but with more glitter.

They’ve outlived disco, grunge, and boy bands. They’re older than the internet. But they still sell out arenas.

A Quirky Timeline

When KISS formed in 1973, Gene was 24. Paul was 21. They were just snotty kids. Now they’re snotty great-grandfathers.

Peter Criss is older than the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper album. Think about that.

How Old Is Kiss Band | Kiss Band Members – OHYDHCHow Old Is Kiss Band | Kiss Band Members – OHYDHC

The Secret to Their Youth

It’s not face paint. It’s not hair spray. It’s geriatric stubbornness.

Gene Simmons says he’ll only stop when he dies. Paul Stanley has a surgically-repaired shoulder. They keep going because they don’t know how to stop.

So, Final Answer

KISS members range from 64 to 79 years old. That’s Medicare age, but with louder guitars.

They’re proof that rock and roll never dies. It just gets arthritic.

Next time you see them on stage, don’t think “old.” Think legendary. With better dental plans.